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Grant William "Brad" Gerver writes
"Shot Off The
Press" (aka "SeriousKidding.com"). He is a longtime published liberal political writer specializing in left-wing political humor, political satire, and bumper sticker writing. "Brad" is also a singer-songwriter and performing blues artist (did he mention he was a writer?). Grant's forte is humorous one-liners
and all-around terse-verse writing. He is featured on many websites, including the wicked All Hat No Cattle.
The former radio announcer, children's author, and
retired elementary school teacher excels at product
naming, bumper stickers, slogan and motto writing, ad creation, songs,
jingles, editing, and all things short, sweet, and
to-the-point. Grant writes and submits thousands of
bumper sticker ideas, both political and non-political.
"Where
creativity and originality
meet punctuality and good grammar."
"I
visit SeriousKidding.com daily. Grant is truly
the master of his domain." ~
George Costanza
~ Many thanks to Joe Bodin and FlagstaffCentral.com ~
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Shot Off The Press:
Latest Lines
~ Always Unfair and Biased. Always. ~
"I believe in Bush, Cheney, Rove, Wolfowitz and The Tooth Fairy." --my Dad, Spike Gerver, 6-24-05
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Jim Hightower, "America's #1 Populist": I've been hearing and reading this guy for a long time and he keeps making as much sense as anybody. And, he does it briefly.
* Bush declares National Holiday to celebrate Jenna's wedding (5-10-2008)
*Bush's deft "Middle East touch" extends to Beirut: chaos spreadin' like a swarm a' locust (5-9-2008)
* I don't give a "hoot" whether McCain voted for Bush in 2000 or not. I only care if he lied about it. Yummy. (5-9-2008)
* Did John McCain NOT vote for Bush in 2000? He's smiling way too hard in the video. It's a wonder his face didn't explode. (5-9-2008)
* The Dream Ticket: Obama/Anybody but Hillary (5-9-2008)
* Barack shouldn't pick Hillary. He should choose Olbermann. (5-8-2008)
* Breaking news: proctologist removes microphone from Rush Limbaugh in emergency procedure (5-7-2008)
* "Let them eat gas." (5-6-2008)
* My simple take on the gas tax holiday: if "$100-Millionaires Club" members, Hillary and McCain are for it, it must be a bad idea. (5-6-2008)
* Hillary has such the politcal thug mentality, I'm just waiting for her to start flashing gang signs. (5-5-2008)
* John McCain has been endorsed by Rev. John Hagee. He makes Rev. Wright look like Joel Osteen. Read Frank Rich's excellent commentary. (5-4-2008)
* Setting the record straight, McCain says he called his wife a "trollop and a nut." (5-3-2008)
* How I'll sleep worrying about Miley Cyrus' career is beyond me. I can only pray there'll be a Congressional investigation. (5-3-2008)
* McCain throws temper tantrum over lost binky (5-2-2008)
* New breed of burglars steals gas, food (5-2-2008)
* Finally, LEGACY ACCOMPLISHED:
George Walker Bush is the most unpopular president in modern history.
Don't worry, he can still turn it around before January. (5-1-2008)
* Iraq: stick a Flag pin in it... (5-1-2008)
* Happy 5th Anniversay, "Mission Accomplished!" With April's Troop deaths hitting 50, there's one hell of a lot to be proud of. (5-1-2008)
* "Swift Boat" Hillary is acting more like a Republican every day. (5-1-2008)
* John "Hand Grenade" McCain is so flaky, cranky, undependable and just outright abominable, he'd make the perfect neocon president. (5-1-2008)
* Lewinsky emerges from shadows to admit she forced Bill into sex he vigorously resisted; endorses Hillary (4-30-2008)
* Actually, if McCain becomes president, it'll be fun watching the captain go down with the ship. (4-30-2008)
* Americans only have grave concern in a few areas: gas, food, water, housing and employment. (4-30-2008)
* Remember: you can't have a recession until Homeland Security declares it. (4-30-2008)
* Americans are erecting backyard grain silos like there's no tomorrow. (4-30-2008)
* I predict Reverend Wright is on Karl Rove's secret Bahamaian payroll. (4-30-2008)
* We're gettin' a rebate check every month, right? (4-29-2008)
* Bush has left a legacy all right. He's marked his territory like a horny pit bull. (4-28-2008)
* Anyone who thinks the economy's going to get better anytime soon is a real "dopetimist." (4-28-2008)
* Haven't seen Cheney in a while. He's probably performing animal experiments in his torture lab. (4-28-2008)
* Britney and Lindsay welcome Miley to the fold (4-28-2008)
* I'll be spending my rebate check on antidepressants. (4-27-2008)
* Not to worry: Bush's self-approval rating is very high. (4-27-2008)
* Jon Stewart riffs ass. (4-26-2008)
* Read this and tell me McCain isn't bipolar. (4-26-2008)
* John McCain assures Americans that he'll only sling mud once in a while. Other than that, he'll run a clean, respectful and noble campaign. (4-26-2008)
* In an effort to bolster his wife's chances, Bill Clinton admits he inhaled, and did indeed have sex with that woman. (4-26-2008)
* Let's just say Hillary is somehow denied the nomination. She would make the perfect McCain running mate. (4-26-2008)
* Consumer confidence has fallen to its lowest level in 26 years. Oh what do they know? (4-26-2008)
* Wal*Mart, Costco limit sales of bulk rice, paper clips (4-25-2008)
* Hey, how about the Govenment gets a sweet subprime loan deal to pay off the debt? (4-24-2008)
* Deputy Secretary of State, John Negroponte is urging the Chinese to open talks with the Dalai Lama. He suggests a neutral site: the Beijing Wal*Mart. (4-24-2008)
* It's so great seeing the "Democrat" Party doing what they do best: giving away the White House to the Jerkwads. (4-24-2008)
* In her and Bill's mind, Hillary won by a big enough margin to justify stealing the nomination. John McCain and Karl Rove are giddy. (4-23-2008)
* God, am I ever glad Earth Day is over. I put my bike in the shed and filled up the Hummer. (4-23-2008)
* Exxon Mobil salutes Earth Day by unveiling new "smiling corn cob" logo (4-22-2008)
* Don't eat beef. How would you like it if the shoe were on the other hoof? (4-22-2008)
* China celebrated Earth Day by closing more oil deals with rogue nations. (4-22-2008)
* I promise to cut back on my driving...right after you lose 25 pounds. (4-22-2008)
* "Hissy-Fit" Hillary demands nomination or she and Bill will jump to GOP (4-20-2008)
* Bill O'Reilly admits dropping acid before every show (4-20-2008)
* Stop driving and eating and you'll soon be rich. (4-20-2008)
* With John McCain, at least we have a known commodity: Bush. (4-20-2008)
* You know who's been tortured the most? WE have. (4-20-2008)
* Here's my take: Obama won't wear a Flag pin, so he's called "unpatriotic." But, Bush, Cheney, Rove and Rice wear 'em and they're verified traitors. So, why would anyone want to wear one? It definitely sends the wrong message. (4-20-2008)
* Wal*Mart "deeply offended" at actions of "unruly monks" trying to make political spectacle at expense of "our greatest friend, China" (4-20-2008)
* Bush makes "...is the Pope Catholic?" miscue (4-20-2008)
* If we pull our Troops out of Iraq, all hell will break loose. If we stay in Iraq, all hell will break loose. But, if we are brave and send in more Troops, all hell will break loose. (4-20-2008)
* Would-be gas thieves: let it be known that I have implanted a video camera in my gas cap. (4-20-2008)
* "Grapes of Wrath 2" tells tale of current Great Depression (4-20-2008)
* If McCain becomes President, do you think Cindy would lower the price of Budweiser? We're gonna need a lot of it. (4-19-2008)
* So what if gas and food prices are skyrocketing? Sports and concert tickets won't be affected, will they? (4-19-2008)
* My friends, John McCain would be nothing without Cindy's $100 million. (4-18-2008)
* When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Problem is, you can't run a car on it. (4-18-2008)
* Hey, what's with the long face? You didn't need that dumb ol' house anyway. (4-18-2008)
* George W. Bush: The Man Who Pulled the Plug on America. (4-18-2008)
* Don't fall over, but the War's been "a major debacle with the outcome in doubt." (4-18-2008)
* Even though violence is surging (pun intended), it's worth the oil in the longrun. (4-17-2008)
* "COWBOY GEORGE, THE HORSE THIEF," by Jim Hightower: "America's #1 Populist!" (4-8-2008)
* Check out this new book: The Real McCain. His kindergarten temper tantrums get abusive, obscene and physical. Yeah, he's MY President! (4-8-2008)
* The problem with The Olympic Torch isn't China. It's the wick. (4-8-2008)
* If The Surge is working, so are subprime mortgages. (4-8-2008)
* Obama begins assembling "HazMat Hotshot Team" to sterilize White House before he and First Family move in (4-8-2008)
* If you happen to be drunk, this will sober you up in a hurry. (4-7-2008)
* John McCain believes The Surge gave Iraq "something approaching normal." Hey, wasn't he part of that illustrious "Keating 5"?
He has the same moral compass a certain President and Vice President have. (4-7-2008)
* Legacy Watch: fostered by his mantra of compassionate conservatism, George W. Bush created The Second Great Depression. (4-7-2008)
* Because of the Clintons' vast wealth, Hillary is owed the nomination. End of story. (4-7-2008)
* News from the medical front: John McCain has been diagnosed with a severe case of "Bushitis." There is no known cure or treatment. (4-6-2008)
* How does "Bush administration officials will be indicted for war crimes" strike you? (4-6-2008)
* Legacy Watch: "Ethanol George" has ushered in the Global Food Crisis. This is simply no joke. (4-6-2008)
* Presidential Dynasty Syndrome: Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton. And, Jeb and Chelsea are waiting in the wings. (4-6-2008)
* Now Hillary keeps repeating her hospital horror story whopper. I guess it all boils down to what the meaning of "is" is. (4-6-2008)
* Mugabe in secret consultation with Florida election officials about how to steal Zimbabwe election back. (4-6-2008)
* MLK: Gone but never forgotten. (4-4-2008)
* Global Warming is morphing into Global Worsening. (4-4-2008)
* Bush considers forcing gas stations to provide full service to help offset price of fuel (4-4-2008)
* Many carjackers only choose vehicles with full tanks (4-4-2008)
* With the price of gas skyrocketing, it's obvious God doesn't want us to drive. (4-4-2008)
* The Bush years have been awfully kind to the Clintons: $109,000,000. I still say Bill inhaled. (4-4-2008)
* Legacy Watch: George Washington Bush has single-handedly rewritten The Constitution. (4-4-2008)
* The Bush administration torture memo has just been declassified for all to see, but doesn't seem to be gaining media traction. How can that possibly be? I guess it's just more of the same "moral valuelessness" we've come to expect. (4-4-2008)
* The nice thing about John McCain becoming president is that there'd be a seamless transition for the White House with corruption business as usual. (4-4-2008)
* 80,000 jobs were cut in March. But, it's still not a recession, because only terrorists and unpatriotic people believe that. (4-4-2008)
* According to the latest NYT/CBS poll, 81% of Americans feel the Country is on the wrong track, to which Cheney replied, "SO?" He knows Halliburton and Big Oil aren't among them. (4-4-2008)
* Cheney & Bush still hold out hope for the discovery of WMD, or a fleet of mobile weapons labs, or another attack on American soil....something, ANYTHING! (4-3-2008)
* When are we gonna accomplish another mission, Uncle George? (4-3-2008)
* One dodged the draft altogether, the other one went AWOL. Who better to lead us into an unwinnable abyss of war, death, destruction and total catastrophic failure? (4-3-2008)
* So, 9/11 Commission Vice Chairman and Iraq Study Group Co-Chair, Lee Hamilton, is endorsing Obama because of his bold foreign policy stands. Doesn't he give a flip that Hillary took sniper fire in Bosnia? (4-3-2008)
* The problem with Iraq is the ungrateful attitude of the citizenry after all we've done for them. (4-3-2008)
* If Bush just had another term, think what he could do. He's workin' on it. (4-3-2008)
* My other car is a pipe dream. (4-3-2008)
* Oil industry lobbies for huge bicycle tax hoping to encourage Americans to choose driving (4-3-2008)
* Quit blaming Big Oil for obscene gas prices. They have no control over it. They only have control over obscene profits. (4-3-2008)
* We owe it to Exxon Mobil to stay in Iraq until they get their hands on all the oil. The Iraqi people owe us that much. (4-3-2008)
* The Clintons demand the nomination, declaring their rightful turn to be president again following the Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton pattern guaranteed them by James Carville. (4-3-2008)
* Hillary vows to show wound from Bosnia sniper attack just as soon as she confers with her plastic surgeon. (4-3-2008)
* One thing I can give George W. Bush credit for: he is the best derned swaggerer of any president we've ever had. (4-3-2008)
* Mugabe being hailed as "The George Bush of Zimbabwe" (4-2-2008)
* The Bush Administration motto for the Constitution: "Gut & Run" (4-2-2008)
* Legacy Watch: "George W. Bush ~ The Recession and Repression President" (4-2-2008)
* It's been "April Fools" everyday since 2000. (4-1-2008)
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